It's not happening for a shot to the joolz...



that poor fucker...

/flex



http://www.amazon.com/Bethesda-12640-Ducati-Moto/dp/B000WCE9V2/ref=sr_1_6?ie=UTF8&s=videogames&qid=1215530931&sr=1-6

Got this from my favorite Rambling Redhead in NYC:

Five snacks I shouldn't enjoy:

Apple Paah
Pumpkin Paah
Sweet Potato Paah
Lemon Meringue Paah
Mincemeat Paah

(Gaht dangit, I love me some PAAH!!)

Five snacks I do enjoy:

Nachos (Chicken or Steak from NACHO MAMAS!!!)

Granola Bars (Oats n' Honey and Maple Brown Sugar)

Chips and Salsa with lime wedges. You're simply not doing it right if you don't have the lime wedges.

Strawberry pop-tarts, unfrosted, with a thin layer of butter on top. Lawuhd Geezus...

Oatmeal and Raisin Cookies here at work on Wednesdays!!

Five things I would do if I were a billionaire:

Buy houses, including paying off my familys' houses (Mine, Mom's, Grandparents' Brothers') and three houses in the most popular markets for real estate on this coast, then charge competitively for rent. Also, I'd buy the house where I'm renting.

Pay off my debt, and bring my roommates (and my tenant) current.

Buy Seven tastefully-chosen lingerie outfits for an ex-girlfriend (all her favorite colors and styles) in cash, and have them sent to her job, anonymously, so when she calls to thank her Boyfriend/Fiance/Husband for the 'amazing gift', he freaks the phuck out.

Take 20 of my closest friends to Vegas for a week. Yes friends, we're staying in the Luxor.

Finance a film/animation studio with a fellow artist I've known since we were kids and see our life's dreams finally come true!!!

Five (non-academic) jobs that I have had:

Dishwasher at a Chinese food restaraunt
Lot attendant at a Car Dealership
Bouncer at Gentleman's club.
Manager of the Game Keeper in Owings Mills.
Computer attendant at Bell Atlantic, working the midnight shift.

Five habits:

Working out amusing skits for potential scripts out loud. To myself. Looks kinda schizo.
Pacing when brainstorming.
Starting and not finishing many creative pet projects.


Five places I have lived:

Fort Dix, NJ
Randallstown, MD.
Timonium, MD
Forest Park, Baltimore, MD.
Patterson Park, Baltimore, MD.

Five people I want to get to know better

Rachel True
Sade
Alexis Silver
Mason Storm
Your Mom

We'd just play Scrabble. Honestly :)

...wait...did I read that last one in the wrong context?

I found this, and had to share it.

32 years old.

Thirty-two years old.



At this point in time, Halle is 41 years old.


Ever since the 12th grade, when I saw her in Strictly Business, and then the Last Boy Scout, I thought,'Damn...now that's a beautiful woman.'



Don't get me wrong. I'm happy for her, and her achievements, I'm glad she finally decided to bear a child, and I'm sure the three of them are going to be a wonderful family.

But another of my boyhood fantasies has just death-rattled.

I mean, after being simply BAFFLED by the behavior of Dave Justice, AND Eric Benet, the whole thing seemed so much larger than life to me, and I didn't pay enough attention to the details of those involved, and the fantasy shrunk off into my subconscious.


...until I heard of the age of the Father.

Thirty-two gaddamned years old.

That's two years younger than me.

That means that if I could have stayed in film, and made it in the biz that that boyhood fantasy from 12th grade could have come true.

THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME!!!!!

I COULD HAVE BEEN HALLE'S BABY DADDY!!!

:: Continued blithering ::

I'm sure you all are saying it with me fellas, when I say 'Congratulations, you son of a bitch.'

Dammit, it could have been me...

...at least that's what I keep telling myself.

Well, there you have it...closure...


I'm sorry, I need lots of liquor now...

...and sit-ups. Lots of sit-ups...

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article3511901.ece

"It was just a flesh wound, really..."

Reminde me of the army joke that ends with the punchline 'Don't fuck with uncle Ted when he's been drinking.'

...That was Jeff Bridges with a shaven head!!!

http://www.firstshowing.net/2008/02/28/another-full-iron-man-trailer-launches-holy-sht/

So...the development shots look impressive. Character development, I mean. It seems to have potential that outpaces Ghost Rider (haahaaaaahhhahhkahahahahakkkhh... ) and it doesn't look as crammed full of opposing characters and appearances as Spider-Man 3.

...I'd have done a better Rhodie, though :)

Dammit, Eddie, come to Baltimore!!!

...or at least DC...

Oh...laugh, Dammit!!....

In respect of Eddie's show in NYC that I won't be seeing, I'm posting these here. I'm going to keep posting these here, so just live with it...

If only I were in New York around the 13th. If only I had a ticket.

Watched it with some good friends at their house. The Greatest Super bowl ad of them all, in my opinion, was the Terminator fighting with the NFL Robot(s)

I'm a sucker for running jokes. The legsweep in the second bit was the funniest part to me. It only got better as time went on.

First one
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=27489807

Second one
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=27489843

Third one
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=27489880

I just got a spam email that included some of the descriptive text reading 'Increase the size of your copulation organ by up to 4 inches!!' and I got to thinking...of course that's directed at men. I mean, imagine how many women would be inspired to increase the size of their clitoris by like 4 inches? I mean, how would you climb stairs?

I'll accept a smoker, but you'll have to smoke outside.

http://baltimore.craigslist.org/roo/513314605.html

Contact me for an appointment.

http://www.apple.com/trailers/magnolia/shrooms/trailer/



...because this looks...well...better than Jeeper's Creepers, but not much better.

Roommate Wanted!!

http://baltimore.craigslist.org/roo/513314605.html

Forward to anyone that seems to be a good candidate for the position.

No wackos, please.

Not ANOTHER Rambo film...?!! First Rocky Balboa, then this...what's next...'Marion Cobretti'?

Rambo - Red Band Trailer

Posted May 19, 2007

The next chapter finds Rambo recruited by a group of Christian human rights missionaries to protect them against pirates, during a humanitarian aid deliver to the persecuted Karen people of Burma. After some of the missionaries are taken prisoner by sadistic Burmese soldiers, Rambo gets a second impossible job: to assemble a team of mercenaries to rescue the surviving relief workers.

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1361391145

Name the character(s), then the movie.

1. You find us a Job worth doing, you'll find your share improving.
('Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels', Frank Harper as 'Dog')
2. Can you handle it from here? Ok if you guys don't mind I'm gonna...pass out. (Ronin, Robert Deniro as 'Sam')
3. Do you see the beast? Have you got him in your sights? (Trainspotting, Jonny Lee Miller as 'Sick Boy', Ewan McGregor as 'Renton')
4. That still counts as one! (Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, John Rhys-Davies as Gimli)
5. You're off the edge of the map, mate. Here there be monsters. (Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl., Geoffrey Rush as Captain Barbossa)
6. Frost. sometimes it makes the Blades Stick. (Gladiator, Russell Crowe as General Maximus Decimus Meridius)
7. No!! No!! To the right!! The Right!!! (Casino Royale, Daniel Craig as James Bond, 007)
8. I'm sweating like a pig carrying around your Stupid fuckin Rope! (Boondock Saints, Norman Reedus as 'Murphy McManus')
9. "What's next?" "Ooh, Rosie O'Donnell!" "Yeah!" "Naah...Give 'im somethin' hard..." (Dawn of the Dead, Ving Rhames, Ty Burrell, Boyd Banks)
10. You'd best kill me Motherfucker!!!! (Stabbing self in chest) (Shaft, Jeffrey Wright as 'Peoples Hernandez')
11."What's gotten into you?" "I felt like Destroying something beautiful." (Fight Club, Brad Pitt, Ed Norton as Tyler Durden and Tyler Durden)
12. He's got the whooooole world...in his hands!! (Con Air, Steve Buscemi as Garland 'The Marietta Mangler' Greene)
13. I have come here to avenge my Teacher. This doesn't Concern you. I'll allow you to leave.... (The Chinese Connection aka 'Fist of Fury', Bruce Lee as 'Chen Zhan')
14. I want to know the place, I want to know all the exits, and I want to be allowed to smoke. (Shaun of the Dead, Nick Frost as 'Ed)
15. "These blow up into funny shapes and all?" "Well...if round is Funny..." (Raising Arizona, William Forsythe as Evelle, Charles Lew Smith as 'Nice old Grocery man')
16. Movement number 1; Dragon seeks path. (Return of the Dragon' Bruce Lee as'Tang Lung')
17. What is the number to the phone in my car? (Desperado, Jouaquin De Almeida as 'Bucho')
18. I dunno. I was beginning to enjoy being disreputable. (Mission Impossible, Ving Rhames as 'Luther Steckel')
19. What fucking good is a caravan if it's got no fuckin' wheels? ('Snatch.', Brad Pitt as 'Mickey, the Pikey')
20. "How'd you get the horses to do that? Atsei! Atsei!" "It's an Ancient Navaho Word. It means
'Stop'." (Young Guns II, Lou Diamond Philips as Chavez, Christian Slater as 'Arkansas Dave Rudabaugh')
21. Sir, the Monkey's showing his ass. (Iron Monkey, Uncredited Royal Advisor)
22. (hands over a Zagnut Candybar) There's yer gaddamn dinner... (48 Hours, Nick Nolte as 'Detective Jack Kates', Eddie Murphy as'Reggie Hammond')
23. Son, you got a panty on yo head... (Raising Arizona, John O'Donnal as 'Hayseed in Pickup')
24. Cripple Li: Holding a pot in his arms! (Drunken Master, Jacky Chan as 'Wong Fei Hung', Su Tien Yuen as 'Su Hua Chi')
25. Man, you come straight out of a comic book. (Enter The Dragon, Jim Kelly as 'Williams')
26. They told me they fixed it! It's not my Fault!!! (Empire Strikes Back, Billy Dee Williams as 'Lando Calrissian')
27. We'll start the Ass-kissing with YOU! (Boondock Saints, Willem DaFoe as 'Detective Paul Smecker')
28. An Accident? Do you Realize it's Snowing in my Room, Gaddammit!?!?!?! (Weird Science, Bill Paxton as 'Chet')
29. What'll you have me do? Stand on my head? (Payback, James Coburn as 'Justin Fairfax')
30. "Bang!" (Falls dead) (Cowboy Bebop, Spike Spiegel Final Episode)

Yeti Sports Penguin Smash

320.5 is my longest, so far.